The Other Side
by cookiesforfrogs
Summary: Ivy's pov. After taking Glenn to Piscary's the previous night to ask about the witch hunter murders. Piscary has given Ivy an ultimatum make Rachel your shadow or he will deal with Rachel. M to be safe
1. Chapter 1

**_Title: The Other Side_**_  
_**_Author(s): _**_Natasha  
_**_Fandom: _**_The Hollows, Rachel Morgan, series by Kim Harrison  
_**_Characters: _**_Rachel Morgan, Ivy Tamwood,  
_**_Genre: _**_Drama, angst, romance  
_**_Word Count: _****_3,634 Total_**_  
_**_Summary:_**_ Ivy's pov. After taking Glenn to Piscary's the previous night to ask about the witch hunter murders. Piscary has given Ivy an ultimatum make Rachel your shadow or he will deal with Rachel.  
_**_Disclaimer: _**_All characters, and the universe that they go with belong to Kim Harrison. No infringement __is intended.  
_**_Spoilers:_**_ The good the bad and the undead.  
_**_Notes:_**_ The story takes place in chapter twelve and thirteen of the good the bad and the undead but from Ivy's point of view I want to show why ivy pushes Rachel so far and just what Rachel saying no meant to her. P.s this is my first attempt. I would appreciate feedback on whether or not the story worked, what I got right and most importantly what I didn't so I know what to do if there's ever a next time. Thanks and hope you enjoy_

My Bike purred to me as I flowed through the traffic. God but I wished I could have kept my dear heart from Piscary. He knew the truth now, that she wasn't mine, maybe even knew that I looked to her now. Maybe if I had just explained to her why she couldn't - no I would have just looked even weaker to her, I have to be strong enough to deserve her love. Besides it would have just pissed her off. A smile played across my face as I thought of my dear heart angry her blood seems to boil in her veins and her face flushes it's so hard not to kiss her when she's mad.

Perhaps the knowledge would have scared her instead. Either way I would have lost her, anger would have had her confronting Piscary and he would have killed her or bound her and fear would have made her run just as she did now whenever I looked at her with desire.

No my decision was the right one Piscary hadn't hurt her. Although the threat was there, I had gained us more time. My stomach threatened to rebel as images of my 'negotiations' flitted across my mind. Pulling the bike to the side of the road I tried to get myself under control as revulsion crawled across my skin. I had always wondered was everyone like this? Doing what they needed to even enjoying it until they're alone only then the revulsion and guilt hitting them or was it a survival mechanism born of Piscary's attentions. I knew the monster inside glorying in the memories and actions was mine alone or at least only shared by other living vamps.

I shook my head trying to clear it I had to focus I had to plan what to do with the time Piscary had granted me he wouldn't be so generous again. Panic flooded my system at the thought driving my heartbeat faster and my pupils wide. No matter what I will protect her, I will, I can do this for her. I kept repeating it to myself it had been my mantra for months now and I felt my panic subside somewhat at the truth of my words my dear heart would be fine. Pulling back into the traffic the wind trying to steal my hair from me I headed for home.

Pushing open the beautiful oak door I stepped into the sanctuary, breathing deeply I was disappointed when the fresh sent of Rachel I was hoping for was denied me. Padding softly through the church I listened for the sound of my dear heart and found it beating softly in the back garden. Sighing deeply I felt my shoulders relax slightly, Piscary hadn't used our meeting as a way to kill her while I was...distracted she had been with the FIB but if Piscary was determined to kill her it would make little difference.

The coffee machine was off and the grounds needed changing smiling trying convince myself everything was fine I carried out what I considered to be my job. After security, coffee was what Rachel needed most and it made me feel better that I could provide her coffee fix for her just like any best friend.

Sitting down to wait for the coffee I let my mind wander to possible solutions. The boom of the back door had me jumping from my seat and moving to the door at full speed, I pulled myself to a halt as I took in the sight before me. My dear heart was stunning. She stood there in the doorway the sunlight behind her making her glow and wreathed in anger. The guilt, revulsion and fear melted away, the sent of her soothing me and the sight of her replacing them with arousal and love.

She blinked at me owlishly and I knew my use of vampire speed had unnerved her again. "Hey you ok?" the stench of humanity and gasoline hung on her and I knew she had taken the bus, something guaranteed to irritate her though not this much. "Yeah. Just the bus" I would have let her know what I thought of her answer perhaps raised an eyebrow and enjoyed the look of envy and desire she would give me and pretend to myself it was for me and not for an ability she didn't have. But her face made that adorable little scrunch and nose wiggle before I could and I briefly and selfishly hoped she never got a car just so I could see that look again. "Sorry I didn't mean to open the door with quite so much force" she said walking past me to the coffee machine, cocking her hip and staring down at it as if she could will it to be ready. "You want to spar?" I asked.

I know I shouldn't, god I know I shouldn't but our sessions are the highlight of my week. I even dream about then although they never ended the way they do in my dreams with her screaming for me and the taste of her most intimate juices coating my tongue. Hope that my dreams might become reality wasn't why I asked though I need to know if she is ready we had had all the time Piscary would give us, if we had to stand against him could my dear heart stand with me?


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N this is from chapter twelve of the good the bad and the undead but written from Ivy's POV please note that the dialogue between Ivy and Rachel are quotes from the book and just like everything else to do not belong to me so don't sue me please. All selling mistakes/grammatical errors are my fault._

My dear heart had fought well but it was clear she wasn't up to besting me let alone a dead vamp. She was currently on the floor fighting to get her breath back. Moving away from her I pushed the anger away, at least now maybe she'd listen to me and stay away from Trent. Walking away slowly I put an extra little swing in my walk hoping to draw her attention to my ass. I needed her to start thinking of me the way I thought about her.

The weight of Rachel on my back shocked a cry from my lips and for a split second I thought she wanted me. The redwood scent of my dear heart enveloped me and my heart sang. Then her arm came round my throat pulling me too her in a parody of a lovers embrace and I realised she was trying to continue our fight. Hope died in my chest and all I could taste was ashes she was mine damn it we where made for each other. I started to back peddle, intending to slam her into the wall, pin her there and take her. But she dropped to the floor, tripping me, she was on me smothering me in her scent - her love. We grappled till I broke her hold and she scrambled backwards. I could feel the monster inside me growing stronger I could protect others from it but we both wanted Rachel. I want her, she's mine, my dear heart I stand waiting as she gets to her feet -fast but I'm faster.

Waving her arms she announces her surrender. She was mine I could smell her love for me I wanted her, Piscary wanted me to have her. I wasn't ready to stop just yet she had to learn. My feet light I circled my dear heart. "That's the trouble with you Rachel" my voice echoed and I worked to keep the hurt out of it. "You always quit when it starts to get good. You're a tease nothing but a god damn tease." "Excuse me?" anger cold and blinding fills me how dare she pretend she doesn't know what I mean. Lunging for her I attack she blocks my fists and manages to drive me back with a kick to my knees again she tries to end things and I shake my head.

She had to be made to understand I couldn't lose her. "I'm trying to save your life little witch. A big bad vamp isn't going to stop because you tell him to." Piscary won't "he's going to keep coming till he gets what he wants or you drive him away. I'm going to save your life one way or another." please dear heart please show me you can drive him away I don't want to be a monster with you I don't want to make you mine like this. Then the monster was there whispering to me "does it really matter how really she'll be safe and she'll be ours isn't that what counts?"

Darting forward I attack, she forces me to retreat again, attack, retreat, attack my beautiful dear heart, my little mouse. Her fear was rising mixing with our scent increasing my bloodlust but I could control it a little longer. "Stop ivy were done" turning her back on me she begins to walk back to the hall. She still hadn't learnt she still didn't understand, I wavered the monster raging at me to claim and protect her. To let her go or push? Her movement stirred the air and the smell of my pure witch mixed with me and her fear hit me full force. I attacked, easily gaining control of her till her head slammed in to my chin. Dropping my grip I stumbled back the taste of blood heavy in my mouth it was mine, soon it would be my dear hearts blood. "First blood Rachel?" I lunged for her, gripping the front of her shoulder I throw her to the front of the church. Walking over I pick my dear heart off the floor, god the feel of her skin was incredible "come on witch I taught you better. You're not even trying" I kept my voice gentle with the love I felt.

"I don't want to hurt you" she whimpers to me under the shadow of the long gone cross. My dear heart worries about hurting me? - hasn't she learnt it's only her pushing me away that hurts. "You can't" I'm sorry dear heart. Her heart pounds franticly like a rabbits its beat calling to me with promises of everything I had ever wanted. "Let me go Ivy" her voice was breathy, a lovers plea "if you do this I'll leave. You'll be alone." leaning close I drew the scent of her to me "if I do this you won't leave." and you'll be alive and safe dear heart "but you could get away if you really wanted to. What do you think I've been teaching you the last three months? Do you want to get away Rachel?" tell me no, give this to me dear heart please. Her adrenaline driven heart was sending more of the most delectable scent into the air, I could feel myself pumping out more pheromones in response. Maybe this was how my dear heart needed it to be. "Do you want to get away little witch?" nuzzling into her skin I await her answer.

Her arousal soars and I begin playing on her scar, I can make this good for my dear heart "get off" her words hurt but givens Piscary's orders they only matter if she can "make me". I want her and I can smell that she wants me but if she can fight me off then I won't have to bind her we can find another way. Images of ours lives becoming more intertwined of us in her shower and in my bed fill my mind. My voice turns playful "tell me it doesn't feel good when I do this" sighing I run my finger down her elegant neck watching her eyes - watching her will. Her knees shake and I ready myself to catch my dear heart. Her eyes slipping shut she gives into the pleasure "yes" she moans the sound one I have yearned to hear for so long "god help me it does. Please ... Stop" I can't anymore dear heart I can't. "I know how it feel" I tell her she whimpers my name the sound going straight to my clit, I needed her to say my name like that again. Instead she tells me to stop that she doesn't want me, pain oh god it hurts how can she hurt me so? I'm still not good enough for my dear heart. She opens her eyes and stares into my soul my dear heart has judged me and found me wanting. Her body wants me and she can't fight me let alone an undead. My forehead smacks against the wall next to her. I try to gather my resolve she has to understand I have to save her, Rachel alive and bound to me is better then Rachel dead or god forbid alive and Piscary's toy. I don't have a choice neither of us do anymore, a demon and a vampire took our choices away.

"You don't know what it's been like living besides you Rachel" I whisper begging my dear heart to understand to forgive me. "I knew you'd be frightened if you knew how vulnerable your scar makes you. You've been marked for pleasure, and unless you have a vampire to claim and protect you, they all will take advantage of it, taking what they want and passing you to the next until you're nothing but s puppet begging to bled. I was hoping you might be able to say no. That if I taught you enough you would be able to drive a hungry vampire away. But you can't, dear heart. The neurotoxins have soaked in too far. It's not your fault. I'm sorry..." the only thing I can do is make this feel good for you. Pumping out more pheromones to relax her I soften my voice as I try to explain before the scent of her overcomes me completely "Piscary said this is the only way to keep you. To keep you alive." I don't want it to be. "I would be kind Rachel. I wouldn't ask anything you didn't want to give." no matter how much I might want to "you wouldn't be like those shadows at Piscary's, but strong, an equal. He showed me when he spelled you it wouldn't hurt." I'll never hurt you dear heart. "The demon already broke you. The pain is over. It will never hurt again. He said you would respond, and my god, Rachel, you did. It's as if a master broke you. And you're mine." my body and monster both rejoiced at those three words - she was mine.

Softly I reminded her of her response at Piscary's to her own finger sliding across her neck and begged her "imagine what it's like when it's not your finger but my teeth - slicing clean and pure through you"

Her body went slack and my grip was all that kept her upright in the face of her need. My dear heart was crying, I kissed her beautiful neck as I begged her to stop and I felt the rush of desire my lips caused her. Hopes of never having to be alone again, of never having to smell that undeserving rat on her again filled me. "I don't want it to be like this, either but for you, I'd break my fast." A soft moan of want crosses her lips and again I rejoice "Ivy" god the sound of her voice saying my name like that. "Wait" we where so close my dear heart and I, pulling back I wait, always waiting for my dear one. "No" oh god, oh god, Rachel, dear heart "no?" nothing had ever hurt this much before. She was saying it again spitting on my love I felt my heart crack I couldn't understand why I couldn't see the stake, she had to have staked me for it to hurt this bad. The monster rose to the front I couldn't, didn't want to fight it my finger traced her scar as I told her I didn't think she meant it. As I pulled her closer she shrieked my name, fighting me, keeping her neck from me but she was mine the monster knew it her muscles began to shake, soon, soon she'd be mine always.

The pain loosened my fingers and my consciousness turned slowly black as I looked at my dear heart her look of bewilderment matching my own. I had failed her.


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer. Again I own nothing. Hope you enjoy_

"Urgh" my head was throbbing and my brain was screaming that something was wrong fog swirled round my mind, something was gone, something important - my dear heart was gone. Fear had me on my feet before I had even finished the thought. What had happened she'd been here, oh god someone took her. My heart spasmed painfully inhaling the air around me I caught a scent I hated, the rat, Nick breathing deeply the smell of my Rachel intermingled with mine hit me and I remembered what I had been doing. "Oh god she said no" and now Nick had taken her from me I had failed her and I had failed Piscary. Sobs broke uncontrollably from me he would kill her now and she would die hating me, blaming me, knowing me for the monster I was and that I failed her. My stomach churned as images of my dear heart crying and begging me to stop filled my mind. She would leave, I had lost my everything. I had destroyed the best thing in my life nausea sweeping through me again I ran for the bathroom away from the room where I had lost everything. The darkness of the bathroom seemed to embrace me – the darkness that was where I belong not with the light not with my dear heart. "Oh god please, please I need you Rachel I love you I'm sorry" again and again my stomach heaved emptying me of everything I had ever eaten if only I could rid myself of the monster inside as well. Curled up on the floor besides the toilet I began crying harder I ripped the cabinet besides me away from the wall and flung it across the room the wood smashing as it dinted the wall, wood flying everywhere - nothing now but a useless mess just like me. Pathetic a smashed cabinet was the best I could do. My life was over huge wracking heaves hit me again as my body tried in vain to get rid of the sickness eating my heart.

Vaguely I became aware Jenks was there it didn't matter nothing mattered I would never see my dear heart again. "She's not coming ... I can't protect her she doesn't want me, I'm not good enough... Not even better then a worthless thieving rat... I'm a monster a worthless monster". Memories of the past three months filled my mind laughing with Rachel as we tricked Jenks, listening to her breathe as I fell asleep every night, playing tag in the graveyard at midnight, seeing her first thing in the morning none of that would ever happen again, I would never pick out a bottle of perfume for my dear heart. She would never love me, never share my bed. "I need her Jenks and she's never going to come back" I tried to focus on what he was saying but I couldn't it didn't matter anyway. "Piscary's going to be so angry with me... Oh god I hope he doesn't take his anger at me out on her please god no... What do I do if she leaves me" He was going to kill her I had failed her, I couldn't save her, she had left me and Piscary would kill her leaving me utterly alone I couldn't live like that I couldn't live without her. Even if she managed somehow to get away from him she would be prayed on by any and every vamp she meet and she couldn't fight them off our fight had shown that they would hold her close and take my dear hearts blood. I had failed her utterly.

Grabbing a towel I buried my face in it hoping to hide from this new world I had created instead my lungs filled with Rachel. She had used this towel and I realised that her scent would fade from our home then I'd be truly alone with out even the illusion of her to soothe me. I clutched the towel to me rocking myself trying to comfort myself to pretend I was in my dear hearts arms. "I failed her so bad Jenks god help my I don't know how to save her". As if in answer to my plea my dear hearts voice filled my ears "my beautiful dear heart" her voice was laced with guilt and worry. She was saying she was at Nick's oh god she was leaving me for Nick by voicemail I couldn't stop sobbing as she spoke and then I thought I heard her say she'd be back. I couldn't I must be wrong unless it was to pick up her stuff she probably asked me to leave while she collected it. "She's coming home Ivy." I looked at the pixie hovering in front of me heavily dusting orange that seemed to light the room fear and wonder swirled inside me "she's not leaving me?" my voice sounded cracked and broken as if I hadn't had any water for days. Jenks was nodding nervously as he answered his voice low and soothing "she's coming home look listen to her message." Hugging the towel with her scent close to me I staggered to the phone moaning with relief as I heard her voice telling me she'd be home. I looked up for Jenks but he was gone it didn't matter I hugged the answer machine and towel closer to me she was coming home.

_A/N I did think about carrying this on further to her seeming avoidance of Rachel and the purchasing of the piano but this seemed like a natural end. So what do you think? _


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